Bedtime

Tonight I'm sleeping with six super hot, single chicks, right here, right under the same roof where my young, impressionable 11 and 13 year old boys are sleeping. Only I can guarantee that in my bed, there won't be much sleep, if you know what I'm saying.

No?

Let me explain.

My toddler has developed an intense love of anything pink, pony-ish, ultra feminine, or princess related. Occasionally this little girl will come crawl into bed with me, insisting on bringing her most-loved toys to round out the slumber party.

A few nights ago she pulled in a smattering of plastic toys: a heart-clad wand, a miniature dressing table, a Barbie-inscribed heart, a unicorn, Sleeping Beauty Barbie, and a small teapot. The only common thread: they were all pink. All of them, each its own garish shade. All of them clutched in her tiny arms as she wandered into my room at 1:50 a.m. All of them "invited" to sleep next to me.

The next time we slept together, in place of the pink toys, were four Pretty Ponies (and one Pretty Unicorn) galloping us to sleep.

Tonight, as mentioned, the hot chicks. Six Barbies, some that are royalty, some that are groupies. By name: Snow White, Cinderella, Arial, Sleeping Beauty (we've bedded down together before), a Barbie she has named Bo Peep, and a craven, whorish Barbie called, "Fiona," wearing naught but a pink miniskirt. No doubt all of them will manage to roll over to my side, wedge themselves under my back, the crook of my neck, tangle about my feet; their sharp arms and elbows at all odd angles, annoying every minute of my wakeful sleep.

Ahhhh, but I do have rules:

No shoes.