Lazy Saturday
I am alone in this falling-apart house of mine, alone for the first time in as long as I can remember. There are no peals of laughter from wrestling children; no television blaring in the background; no stereo crooning; no over-long whether-or-not-someone-may-or-may-not-but-probably-not-but-would-it-
uhm-be-alright questions meandering my way. Neither are there bedrooms awaiting cleaning nor laundry needing my attention.
Ho-lee-crap. It's just me and my time, and I am stunned I have no idea what to do with it.
When your life is filled with other people all the time, other small people you love and take care of, people who are the center of most all of your waking time and a good portion of your sleeping time, total free time comes as a strange, awkward luxury.
I love it. And usually, like my paycheck, I squander this extra time on things I had no intention of spending it on. Great, ridiculous silly things that pass time and leave nothing to show for it, like naps and browsing and loitering. In my busy hours I dreams of these days, of simply enjoying the company I keep when I am alone.
It's too hot to go outside. I've already read the paper. I'm not hungry and my TV -- let's just say there are peasants in third world countries that have better TVs than I do. They probably have cable, too.
Magically, here I am, enjoying my witty, self-adoring company, and yet I find myself whelmed, if not overwhelmed by the possibilities a day of freedom holds. Somehow I have no chores to keep me busy; I have done them already. (Seriously-- who AM I??) I can list any number of things I'd like to or could be doing, and instead I am here, tickety-tickety-ing on this computer, revamping my blog.
I guess that's something.
uhm-be-alright questions meandering my way. Neither are there bedrooms awaiting cleaning nor laundry needing my attention.
Ho-lee-crap. It's just me and my time, and I am stunned I have no idea what to do with it.
When your life is filled with other people all the time, other small people you love and take care of, people who are the center of most all of your waking time and a good portion of your sleeping time, total free time comes as a strange, awkward luxury.
I love it. And usually, like my paycheck, I squander this extra time on things I had no intention of spending it on. Great, ridiculous silly things that pass time and leave nothing to show for it, like naps and browsing and loitering. In my busy hours I dreams of these days, of simply enjoying the company I keep when I am alone.
It's too hot to go outside. I've already read the paper. I'm not hungry and my TV -- let's just say there are peasants in third world countries that have better TVs than I do. They probably have cable, too.
Magically, here I am, enjoying my witty, self-adoring company, and yet I find myself whelmed, if not overwhelmed by the possibilities a day of freedom holds. Somehow I have no chores to keep me busy; I have done them already. (Seriously-- who AM I??) I can list any number of things I'd like to or could be doing, and instead I am here, tickety-tickety-ing on this computer, revamping my blog.
I guess that's something.
posted by @traciAWESOME
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