Thursday, March 23, 2006

Lunch Break Notes

I got an e-mail from an old friend of mine, whom I just informed of my marital status. Despite my feelings to the contrary, he informed me that I am not, as I fear, "White Trash," but rather, "White Recyclable."

In other news, I've recently learned an open bottle of red wine lasts 3 or so days, and tastes amazingly vinegary after 15.

As a side note, vinegar-tasting wine is horrendous and despite all rational thought, does not taste any better on the third, fourth, or tenth sip. It also can cause mild stomach discomfort.

When potty training a toddler, be aware that when you come home from work you just *might* find the potty chair full and placed directly in front of the television.

You might also be presented with a full-potty bin at any given moment, especially when you are least expecting it. Like making dinner, for example. Such presentation is usually made by the toddler, proudly greeting you with her potty bin hoisted overhead and pants around her ankles.

Tween-age boys sometimes speak in falsetto. Randomly. Mid-sentence. They also develop underarm hair. You must be sly when investigating if they have reached that point in development, or rather, have merely stuffed a dead rat in their pocket to produce such a musky stench.

Ten-year old boys, however, do not speak in falsetto but if they catch you trying to slyly determine whether their brother has underarm hair, they will slyly check their own armpits for such hair, when they think you aren't looking.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home