This will shock and alarm you.
Brace yourselves, for what I am about to tell you will at first be exceedingly painful, causing you to weep openly and then, over time, slip into a silent, slack-jawed haze. Gawd knows that's what happened to me at any rate.
Alas, I give you the truth: I did not win the Mega Millions lottery. I KNOW! How sucktacular is THAT?
In fact, not only did I NOT win, I only got one number correct. Clearly, something was clouding my inner eye; my psychic abilities were completely off by FIVE WHOLE NUMBERS.
I am devastated in that way that potential millionaires often get when they place all their hope in one basket, only to watch that same basket later be ripped to shreds by wild jungle beasts, their hopes hence squashed against the ground and intermixed with mud and manure. Stinky, dirty hope.
I think you know what I mean.
Alas, I give you the truth: I did not win the Mega Millions lottery. I KNOW! How sucktacular is THAT?
In fact, not only did I NOT win, I only got one number correct. Clearly, something was clouding my inner eye; my psychic abilities were completely off by FIVE WHOLE NUMBERS.
I am devastated in that way that potential millionaires often get when they place all their hope in one basket, only to watch that same basket later be ripped to shreds by wild jungle beasts, their hopes hence squashed against the ground and intermixed with mud and manure. Stinky, dirty hope.
I think you know what I mean.
posted by @traciAWESOME
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