My dentist stabbed me

REPEATEDLY, in the roof of my mouth, with this:

Do you see what these are? These are DRILL BITS. He has many, many shapes and sizes of DRILL BITS that were then subsequently used to grind away at my teeth:


This is Mr. Thirsty. No joke. That's his name.

He comes and takes out all the spittle and blood. Mmmm!

This was my morning. Stabbing pain, numbed face, holes drilled into my teeth. And then I came to work, where I accidentally slipped on a bug. Seriously. A cockroach.

I'm walking down the hall, coffee in hand, coworker walking towards me. Unbeknownst to me, the heel of my boot mashes down on a cockroach and I slip in a graceful arc, and go down on one knee a la The King (Elvis, you fools!). Magically I didn't spill a drop of coffee. More magically, said coworker didn't laugh hysterically in my face.

Don't believe me?

Here is the graceful arc:


...and the bug guts:


Another coworker promptly assisted me in the flushing of the bug before I could document the little bastard digitally.

No, my day did not get better.